Doggy Style
by xxSmack111
Summary: What would happen if Leah imprinted? What would happen if it was on someone we know? Ahh, unrequited love. ...or is it?
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

This story is just a humourous Twilight fanfic.

There's a bit of OOC, bit of random additions, bit of creative license. The usual.

Takes place Post-Breaking Dawn, so don't read on if you don't want any spoilers.

The chapters are short because each one is just a short clip into a different character's head. Each one is a different POV.

Also, this isn't meant to be a completely faithful tribute; it's meant to be funny. So don't be offended!

Lastly, this is meant to be written in a SERIOUS STYLE, whilst the plot is completely RIDICULOUS. That's the point.

Pleeeeeease review.

Thank you!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer.


	2. Chapter 1: Leah

_**Leah**_

I'd never known killing could be so easy. All it takes is a quick swipe of my strong paw across a victim's neck… and dead. I practised this now; gracefully ending a deer's life. When I had first morphed into this form, I avoided killing at all costs. Now, killing has become part of me.

A contented growl escaped my throat, vibrating the deer's fur under my glistening teeth. I let my mind empty. Every human thought flooded away, and I lived through my senses. I was a wolf. It took two sharp tugs to tear off a strip of meat. I devoured it hungrily, the taste tangy and rustic. It didn't take long for the deer to disappear; I had been starving. Satisfied, I licked my lips. Then in one light leap, I began to run.

The wind gently ruffled my fur; it felt cool and refreshing. I kept running, not bothering to check myself for speed or direction. All I wanted was to fly, and so fly I did. Leaves and branches brushed past me, almost tickling. Each step I took felt as though I was walking on a luxurious carpet; the generally cold air was comfortable against my limbs.

As I ran, the same air started to smell sweeter. Each breath contained a new array of flowery scents; and yet they all seemed familiar to one another. In a second, I switched back to my calculating mind, rather than my instinctual one. My pace slowed and I was able to pick up the scent more clearly. With a low growl, I realised what it was. Vampire. Or, at least, part vampire.

My growl rose, becoming more pronounced; more dangerous. My shoulders lowered, and I narrowed my eyes. I was defensive; ready for whatever was coming.

All the while, the sweet fragrance was invading my nose; clouding my very head. Normally vampires disgusted me, but not this one. It was so lovely I had to get more; though the very small rational part of me was still a hold of my body. It was too much.

With a desperate moan, I backtracked a few hundred metres. The scent was weaker here, and I was able to think more clearly. My limbs began to shudder, and the trees around me grew until I collapsed on the ground in a bundle. Human. Hands shaking, I struggled to untie my singlet and shorts from around my ankle. It took longer than it should have to put them on; but I couldn't focus. The entire time my head was filled with the sugary, flowery smell. It made me vulnerable, and yet it was so beautiful.

I stood on quivering legs, and carefully plodded through the trees. In wolf form, I could normally smell everything more clearly; my senses were sharper. However, in my human form, every sense was being taken over. Images of many colours surrounded my head; I could see gold. The forest took on a surreal quality. It was almost liquid. All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears; I had to find the source.

Slowly, I made it through the trees. They opened onto a wide clearing, trees surrounding the lush grass. A gust of wind blew, gently caressing the leaves. A few fell towards me; or perhaps I fell towards them. My hands came in contact with the ground. With the wind had come the smell; stronger than ever. My vision grew hazy, and I was beginning to slip.

As the picture around me faded, a figure stepped into the clearing. I barely managed to lift my head; it took what seemed an extremely long time. My eyes met the person's for the first time, though I knew of her well. They were chocolate brown; the exact colour I could imagine my smell would seep from.

My world began to spin around her beautiful face. All I could now think of was her; and her gentle, chocolate eyes. She was the scent; it was calling me towards her. And now she held me. She didn't know it, but my soul had been wrenched from my body and was now dancing gloriously with the autumn leaves.

My lips fell open, her name ready on my tongue. With my last breath, I whispered it softly; tasting how it would feel to say aloud. Then, I slipped from the edge. The colour consumed me. _Renesmee._


	3. Chapter 2: Renesmee

_**Renesmee **_

"JACOB!"

I screamed his name at the top of my voice. He could surely hear the panic as I yelled; and it was justified. I stood, frozen, staring at the copper coloured woman who had collapsed in front of me. Her face was familiar, but I couldn't place it. I screamed again.

A few moments later, the heavy thud of Jacob's paws could be heard close by. He appeared in the clearing human, though. Instantly he was at my side; his arms pulled tight around me. He sniffed.

"Ness, is that Leah?"

I blinked at him. It would make sense; the mysterious Leah who disappeared soon after my family's legendary stand against the Volturi. Why she was here, however, was a mystery.

"I… don't know. She just collapsed. It was very strange… She came stumbling out of the forest only to stare at me and pass out."

Jacob took a few cautious strides towards her. He leaned in, taking a deep whiff of her. Then returned to my side.

"It's Leah all right. I'd recognise her smell anywhere. Why on earth was she in the area though?"

Although the last part was addressed more to himself, I mumbled back that I didn't know anyway.

Jacob's eyebrows were knitted together, and I began to chew on my lower lip. He looked up, and immediately softened.

"I love it when you do that."

I felt my lips pull back into a wide grin. Looking up at him, a rush of emotion filled me to the core. He smiled back. Then his expression returned to how it was; worried.

"We better get her back to the house. She doesn't look well."

He wandered over to her and gently lifted her into his arms. Her mouth opened and she began to mutter. I jumped back, alarmed, before realising she was just sleep talking.

"She must've been tired, hey."

"Definitely. I wonder how she let herself get to this state."

I paused, a thought quickly passing through my head. It was a question I'd intended to ask, but forgot. Now seemed like the perfect time to bring it up.

"Jacob, how did Leah manage to break off from your pack by herself? I thought you were the only other Alpha wolf."

Jacob turned to look at me, slightly hesitant.

"I don't actually know. Neither does Sam. We think she just had enough will power."

He shrugged, Leah's unconscious body moving with his shoulders. She began to mutter again, something about golden leaves. I stared at her for a second, and then shifted my gaze to Jacob. He was looking at her also.

We continued to walk at a human pace as to not dislodge Leah. It took longer than usual, but I didn't mind. The sunset light was filtering through the trees, creating a soft haze out of the dust. It was warm and peaceful.

Jacob and I were silent, but it was a happy silence. Every so often I would look up at him, and he would look down at me. Each time our gaze met, my heart would expand. I loved him so surely; and it made me blissful that we would be able to live forever in harmony.

Sometime later, the Cullen house came into view. The white walls were huge, but they looked welcoming, not ominous. I sighed heavily, but happily. This was home.

"Nessie!"

I heard my mother's delighted trill float through the window. Quickly, I ushered Jacob inside. She was making blueberry muffins; a treat for Jacob, who bustled straight past me.

"Hey Bells, you'll never believe who we found!"

Judging from the look on my mum's face, she _didn't_ believe it. In fact, her demeanour slipped completely. When she spoke, her voice was at least two octaves higher than usual.

"Is that LEAH?!"

Both Jacob and I flinched at the same moment. He stepped forward slowly, sensing that although my mum's reaction was one of shock, she wasn't angry.

"Um, yeah. She walked out to Ness, and then sort of collapsed. I was thinking we could keep her here until she wakes up?"

My mum just gaped at us. I could understand why; Leah hadn't been around for at least six years. She slowly started to nod, a strangled sound coming from her throat. Jacob quickly turned, desperate to leave in case my mum exploded. I stayed, however.

"Mum?"

She took a deep breath.

"I'll get Carlisle."

Then she sprinted away. I soon pattered along to find Jacob. It wasn't hard; he was settling Leah in the spare bedroom downstairs. I'd entered almost silently, but he heard me nevertheless. He opened his arms, beckoning.

I took no time in filling the space between them. My head fell against his warm chest, and he pulled me in, resting his chin on the top of my head. I gently kissed his collarbone as he began to speak.

"I hope she's okay. Maybe she'll want to see Seth."

I nodded softly in agreement, too far buried in my own world to care for the moment. Slowly, I started to pull him towards the door. He made no objections, and we left swiftly.

I closed the door carefully, and looked up at him. He smiled, and kissed the tip of my nose, before pressing his lips to mine. I kissed back, my eyes closing. Bliss swelled up around me. Before I let it completely take me over, I offered him a simple truth.

"I love you, Jacob Black."


	4. Chapter 3: Leah

_**Leah**_

My eyes were closed, but I was awake. I could hear them talking about me, conspiring to themselves. My head throbbed, and I was positive the stench of those bloodsuckers wasn't helping. Where was Renesmee?

I wouldn't even be sure she was real, if it weren't for them whispering her name; telling the story. After an hour of the doctor talking quietly with Bella, my game was up.

"You know she's awake, right?"

It was Edward who gave me away. Stupid bloodsucker. I groaned, and flicked my eyes open. Carlisle's expression was one of mild shock. It was only there for a second, though, after which he switched into doctor mode.

"You can hear us, then, Leah?"

I sighed, and decided it would be better to just answer him. Maybe that way I would be able to find my way to Renesmee quicker.

"Loud and clear, doc."

He paused for a moment, clearly contemplating something. Edward leaned in and whispered a comment in his ear so low and fast even I couldn't hear it. Carlisle nodded.

"What brings you to this area, Leah?"

I glared at him to cover up what I knew. Or rather, what I didn't know. He waited patiently for me to answer. Eventually, I gave in. Looking away, I mumbled quietly;

"I don't really know."

I looked up again, and saw Carlisle was still watching me. It made me feel uneasy, especially with Edward and Bella standing close by. I stiffened.

"What?"

Edward and Bella both looked away, slightly embarrassed. Bella took Edward's hand and led him from the room, leaving only the doctor. He continued to stare. After what seemed like it was turning into a staring match, he finally said something.

"Where were you headed?"

"Not here."

Another pause.

"What stopped you?"

"Nothing."

Carlisle shifted positions, coming to rest closer to where I was lying. His tone changed; he spoke quieter, more fatherly.

"What stopped you?"

This time, I thought carefully about how to word my answer.

"There was this strange scent I picked up. It was… sickly sweet, but in a good way. I couldn't take it, so I phased, hoping it would help. It made it worse, though. I found myself looking for it… it was so nice. Then, I saw Renesmee and passed out."

I left out the part about me imprinting on her; that would make things a tad more awkward. I winced inwardly. Never, in all my days, would I ever have thought I would imprint on a half-breed bloodsucker. Carlisle's next words brought me out of my daze.

"Were you at all hungry? Or tired?"

Thinking about it, I was neither of those things. Renesmee had made me faint. He didn't know it, but I did. And he would never find that out.

"No, I had just hunted. Perhaps I got heat stroke."

I chuckled at my own joke.

"Hmm."

With that, Carlisle left. I was bewildered a bit, as to why he vanished so suddenly, until an old friend of mine walked in. His face split into a wide grin; purely happy at the idea of me being here. I couldn't help but feel happy as well; I had missed him a little. He walked up and embraced me in a bone crushing hug.

"Leah!"

"Hey Jake!"

He immediately settled onto my bed, and sat there, just grinning at me. I spoke first.

"What've you been up to?!"

He began to bounce on the spot. I laughed; his energy was infectious.

"Just been living with the Cullens! Nessie and I are gonna move into our own house soon, I'm way excited!"

At the mention of her name, my heart fluttered. I struggled to keep the same smile on my face as the image of hers crossed my mind. Quickly, I cleared my throat and tried to act normal.

"That's great! How is Nessie these days?"

I was hoping my statement was casual, and would be simply mistaken for curiousness. I hoped right.

"Oh, she's wonderful! I honestly couldn't imagine my life without her… She really is the reason I'm alive."

I simply nodded, before quickly making up my mind.

"Can I meet her? She did kind of save my life…"

"Of course!"

Thankfully, Jacob was very enthused at the idea of me meeting his partner. He got up, walked to the door, and stuck his head around it.

"Nessie? Leah wants to meet you!"

My heart began to pound, and I struggled to keep it in check. I was meeting her, conscious this time.

As she came closer, that sweet scent came with her. It was delightful; the room filled with such a lovely aura that it was hard to believe I could ever be upset again. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, only to find she was standing right next to Jacob when they next opened.

Her eyes were wide, the colour of melted chocolate. They flowed into her ivory face; chocolate and cream. Her long curls bounced around it as she moved; each step as graceful as the last. My breathing hitched as my eyes came to rest upon hers.

"Hey Leah."

"Hi."

I was almost paralysed by desire; that one word was almost a whisper. I watched her intently, waiting for her reply.

"So, are you feeling better?"

For a moment, I was lost in her stunning appearance. I remembered how to speak, and replied quickly.

"Much."

Renesmee looked away, obviously feeling awkward at the situation. She then placed a hand on Jacob's face. I had heard, years ago, of what ability she held, and in that instant all I wanted was to feel her soft hand on my cheek; I wanted to see what she was thinking.

Jacob merely nodded, before turning to me.

"We're going to, um, go sit outside for a bit. You should get some rest. Carlisle will be back later."

I tried to smile, but the crushing disappointment made it difficult. Renesmee was leaving. It was fine, however, because they were already gone. My face fell, already feeling her absence. Slipping back into my pillows, I struggled to keep my thoughts away from her lovely features.

I sighed deeply, and then turned onto my side. Perhaps she would be even more divine in my dreams.


	5. Chapter 4: Renesmee

_**Renesmee**_

We walked quickly from Leah's room. My encounter with her had been uncomfortable to say the least. Jacob's method of getting us out of there was less than subtle, but it didn't bother me. My mind flickered back to just a few minutes ago, and I silently shuddered.

It wasn't that she was a werewolf; that didn't bother me in the slightest. It was the way she looked at me; stared at me. Her eyes had swept me up and down, taking in every detail. The expression wasn't one of distaste or disapproval, but of adoration. It scared me slightly. I shuddered again, this time Jacob noticed.

He draped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, kissing the top of my head.

"She just takes a little bit of getting used to, is all."

I nodded, giving him a fleeting smile. He sensed I was still worried, and hugged me tighter. We walked out the door, into the sun. It was high in the sky, and it shone directly across the patch of grass we came to rest at. It reflected off my skin, making it glow slightly. Jacob stroked my bare arm.

"You're so beautiful, Ness."

With that, he sat on the grass and tugged me down with him. I fell into his lap and looked up at him, smiling. The warmth of the sun and Jacob had made me feel considerably better; I was already more at ease.

I reached up and placed a hand carefully across his cheek, letting an image flood his mind. It was of our clearing, at sunset. The air was golden with the sun; hazy and filled with glistening blades of grass. Pressing my hand harder, I let him watch the wind dance with the amber leaves. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his lips.

I pulled my hand away, and watched him while his eyes opened.

"We'll go there soon. And stay there until sunset."

Nestling into his warm body, I felt complete. We sat together, just listening to each other's heartbeats. It was cosy, pressed against his strong body; I felt safe. We barely talked, content with just being together, until the sun was casting long shadows across the grass. Suddenly, he looked down at me.

"Now?"

I nodded. He picked me up and placed me across his back. Although I could nearly match him for speed, it felt better for him to be carrying me; we could still touch.

He started to run, towards the direction of the sun and our clearing. His breathing even, and his gate unchanging, I was able to lean forward without fear of falling off. I kissed his ear gently, knowing he would be able to understand all I wanted to convey. He ran faster.


	6. Chapter 5: Edward

_**Edward**_

The music I played was one of my own compositions. It was quick and bright, matching my mood. Bella stood close by, her eyes wide in enjoyment. I let the music take me away, into a colourful, sprightly world. Once finished, I lent back dramatically. Bella clapped furiously, her body glimmering in pride. After these few years, I still didn't understand why she held me in such high reverence. She was the perfect one, now.

I opened my arms, and hugged her briefly, before she pulled away, seemingly remembering something;

"Oh no, my muffins!"

She sprinted towards the kitchen, leaving me to chuckle behind her. I wandered slowly after, feeling no need to hurry. There was a tranquillity in the air that only settled in the late afternoon. I hummed a simple tune.

_You're beautiful, Leah." _

I paused, confused. Who would be thinking such a strange thing? Ears pointed towards the direction from where it came, I waited.

_As are you, my love. _

It seemed someone was dreaming. The voices inside the person's head were jumbled; it was difficult to tell who was thinking them. Slowly, I walked towards the downstairs hallway. The next thought was louder.

_Please, kiss me. _

I flinched, feeling slightly intrusive. However, my curiosity got the better of me. I walked closer still.

_Only if you kiss me back. _

When I realised who was dreaming, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Leah. Chuckling, I decided it wouldn't hurt to listen a little longer.

I never normally made a habit of intentionally listening to people while they weren't aware I was doing so, but this opportunity was too amusing to pass up. Leah was having a sex dream. I wanted to know who she was dreaming about.

Clearing my head, I focused on getting an image of her dreams. Dreams were more vivid than thought; they brought pictures and blurred scenes that were amazing to watch. When Leah's dream came through, it was exceptionally clear.

The dream was coming from Leah's perspective. She was in a sunset lit clearing; the dream was coloured with a soft gold. It was a beautiful place, and it seemed very peaceful. She was currently kissing an unknown person, looking over her shoulder. Leah pulled back slowly, the dream looking more surreal as she did so.

When I saw who she was kissing, I pulled out of the dream in horror. I only managed a glimpse, but that was enough.

Sprinting to find Bella, a combination of sick disbelief and anger was clouding my mind. By the time I got to her, I could barely speak; my teeth were ground shut.

"Where's Carlisle."

Bella's face was alarmed and confused. She seemed to sense my urgency, however, so answered quickly.

"Hunting with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Esme."

When I didn't reply and started to flex my bicep muscles, Bella continued to speak; understanding immediately.

"I'll come with you."

I nodded once, stiffly, and then went sprinting out the house. We only stopped briefly, for Bella to tell Rosalie to watch Leah. Rose was absent minded, but she agreed. At that point I was too furious and disgusted to comment. I simply grabbed Bella's arm and continued to run.

As we did so, I managed to regain some kind of composure, though all I could think about was Leah's dream. The girl was sick; wrong in the head. She had been dreaming about something completely unorthodox.

When we reached Carlisle and the others, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do to Leah. Tear her to bits.

Carlisle's face was anxious when he saw mine, and questioning. When I spat it out, it was loud; I was yelling.

"LEAH WAS HAVING A SEX DREAM ABOUT RENESMEE."

For the first time I'd ever seen, Carlisle gaped at me. The others had heard my outrage, and they quickly came over to where we were standing. Their faces were a mix of shock and anger; similar to how mine must have appeared. For a few seconds, they seemed to struggle internally. After what seemed like an age of staring, Emmett was the only one who was coherent enough to structure a response.

"WHAT THE F-"


	7. Chapter 6: Leah

_**Leah**_

When I woke up, my face split into a wide, honest grin. Although I had been asleep less than a minute before, already I was trying to plan ways to create a reality out of my dream.

I had been with Renesmee; kissing her. We were in her clearing; the one in which she found me. Her scent surrounded her, floating between us. She tasted soft and sweet; her chocolate eyes melting into mine.

Swiftly, I stepped out of my bed. I had to find her. Between trying to regain threads of my vivid, sensual dream and struggling to decide what to say, it left little room for other thought. It took me forever to dress; all the while I could only think of removing Renesmee's clothing. Button by button, I would tear her filmy shirt from her shoulders, taking in every inch of her smooth, ivory skin. I would hold her waist, feeling it curve to wide hips. All the while I would be kissing her deeply, thrusting my tongue into her sweet, warm mouth. I shuddered delicately; this would be heaven.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I managed to slip from my room. The bloodsuckers were gone from the house; I deducted they would be hunting. It only took ten graceful, loping jumps to reach the back door. Out I went, in a great rush. I had to find Renesmee. My bones ached for her.

Once outside in the setting sun, I began to run. The grass tickled my bare feet, the air rushing against my face. Suddenly I realised I was still human. With a great leap, I phased into my stronger, faster wolf form.

Even whilst I was thrusting myself forward at a great speed, it felt like it was taking eternity to reach the leafy, amber clearing. When Renesmee's sweet, alluring scent breached my senses, I knew I was getting close. She was so close I could almost taste her.

I let out a small whine of desire; just a few moments and there she would be. The trees brushed passed me and each one felt like it could be Renesmee's caressing touch. My pulse quickened when I saw a break in the trees. Then I burst through in a ball of fur and fire.

Jacob's and Renesmee's faces were mirrored in expressions of surprise. I began to purr.

"Leah? What are you doing here?"

At the sound of her voice, I started to pant vigorously. If I took just one great leap, I would be able to lick her perfect face. But I didn't. I restrained myself. Jacob spoke next.

"Why are you in wolf form? Can you become human?"

I shook my head quickly, and, almost against my will, took a step forward. Renesmee's eyes widened in shock, and she quickly placed a hand on his cheek.

My head flicked. I was so jealous I let out a tiny growl. Jacob's eyes were the opposite of hers; they narrowed. He turned to her, and whispered something I couldn't hear. Then he ran behind a nearby bush.

The act took me by slight surprise, but I was quick to take advantage. I stepped slightly closer to Renesmee, inhaling deeply. Hungrily, I leaned my muzzle towards her neck. She squealed, and jumped back quickly. I struggled, deciding that she wouldn't be afraid later.

With a great crunch, Jacob crashed back through the trees in wolf form. He growled loudly and me, snapping his teeth. Fear rippled through me; if he stopped me, I would never be able to hold Renesmee close.

An idea flashed across my mind, and I grasped it. If I could just force my way back into Jacob's head, I could tell him what I needed. That Renesmee was to be mine.

Closing my eyes, I tried to clear my mind of all thought. I brought up a picture of Jacob's face… and pushed. It took me several tries to breach the thick barrier between his singular pack and mine, but I managed.

I knew I'd done so when a hollow feeling entered my head. There was space now; where his thoughts would soon be. I smiled to myself. Soon, Jacob would know what I wanted. Her. Sitting back on my hind legs, I sent him a mental message.

_Hey there, Jake. _


	8. Chapter 7: Jacob

_**Jacob **_

Hearing Leah's thoughts intrude my head left me so bewildered I went reeling backwards. It took me a few moments to reassemble myself before I replied.

_What the HELL, Leah? How did you get here? _

_It doesn't matter. I need to tell you something. _

I turned my head to the side. It was surprising; I had expected her to sound angry or something. Instead she sounded almost… excited. I waited for her to continue. She appeared to be struggling internally. I couldn't hear what that struggle was, though. I decided her thoughts must be similar to the ones I shared with Sam. Only those I wanted her to hear.

She closed her eyes, and an image began to flood my mind. It was one of impeccable detail, and very colourful. I watched as the outcome began to unfold. When it did, I just stared. Leah, upon seeing my reaction, quickly started to justify it.

_I had this dream. Jacob, I need it to be real. I want Renesmee. _

I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. Leah. Lusting after my Ness. Was the world going insane? When Leah started to speak again, I decided it was.

_Please Jacob. I love her. _

At those words, I suddenly understood. Although I now knew what had happened, it still made no sense. So I accused her, hoping for a proper explanation.

_You IMPRINTED on Ness?!_

Leah nodded only once, but it was enough. I let out a howl, so shocked there was no other reaction plausible. Once finished, I looked desperately over at Ness. She was confused; that was fair enough. As I stared, another image pelted my mind.

It was of Ness and Leah, together. This time I was an onlooker. I was about to curse Leah to high heaven, when I realised it wasn't her generating the image. I shivered. The idea was strangely intriguing.

NO. I would not.

_Leah, you can't be serious. Ness is mine. _

Leah's answering expression was one of pure torture; she really had imprinted upon Ness, and I knew the feeling.

_Please, Jake. _

My head was spinning with a thousand different thoughts. In the end I landed on one.

_But Leah, I need her too. _

Leah nodded extremely quickly.

_I understand! Please, though! _

A faint sound pricked my ears. People were coming. It must be the vampires.

_We can't continue this. Edward will hear. _

Leah's face creased with worry. She jumped slightly, and I understood she was ready to run at the slightest warning. Another crack from far away assaulted my hearing. Agonising for only a second, I made my choice. I grinned, unable to stop the flow of pictures entering my mind.

_Leah. Think we could share?_

Her reaction was priceless; a mix of such joy and excitement it was impossible not to laugh at. I was vaguely aware of the vamps getting closer and closer, but I was too focused on my brilliant new plan.

I rushed over to Ness and picked her up, placing her on my back. Turning, I gazed into her eyes and let her know she could trust me. She seemed more at ease, and didn't protest when we started to run.

The vampires could only have been a hundred metres away when the three of us set off; Edward must have been able to hear us.

Unable to resist myself, I sent him one clear idea before we sprinted away. I knew he'd received it when from deep in the forest came a furious roar. Both Leah and I laughed loudly to ourselves; the laughter coming out as barks. When Edward roared again, this time with words, I barely managed to keep going; it was so hysterical. I did so, however, with the thought of Edward skinning me alive chasing me along.

As we ran, all I could think of was Edward's last outraged shout, following me through the trees. The hilarity kept me almost out of breath, and yet it made the distance we needed to travel seem minimal. Shrieking with laughter, Leah replayed the scream for me one more time.

"THE DOGS WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH MY DAUGHTER!"


End file.
